Place this gun in your mouth

djschusta @ 2004-04-08T13:58:00

2004-04-08T20:59:12Z

so I figured it out...

I am going to name my first son Daniel Jones Schuster... and since Daniel Jones is a lame name yo, everyone will call him DJ... So he will be known as DJ Schuster... and my immortality will reign

djschusta @ 2004-04-07T20:38:00

2004-04-08T03:38:24Z

i hate myself

bananas

2004-04-05T20:16:04Z

Ya so I was home in L-town for kel's prom. She looked so incredibly beautiful, I was the luckiest guy there. Despite some drama here or there, it was just completely worth it to get to be with my kel all dressed up. It was just really good to be able to come home and see her before I have to finish this last little stretch of school

which brings me on to the next thing, it is official that I am moving back home now. Right now my plan is to go to UMASS lowell for a semester until I can transfer to UMASS Amherst in the winter. But I am considering some other things like make trying for UVM or some schools in boston or something. But it is looking pretty much like UMASS Amherst and living in londonderry for the first semester unless I somehow get into Amherst which is looking sketchy since it is so late right now.

but I guess that is that and this is this. so peace to your mama's crease yo

djschusta @ 2004-03-28T18:20:00

2004-03-29T01:20:54Z

Holy shit I am so... yes

djschusta @ 2004-03-26T22:18:00

2004-03-27T05:18:38Z

I hate this place.. I hate it I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I FUCKING HATE IT

werd motha fuckin g-money

2004-03-26T04:54:00Z

I definitely recomend you all go to see Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind. It was certainly an excellent movie. One of the best movies I've seen in theaters for a long time. Not only was it a great movie, but there was a fucking awesome trailer for Garden State. It recently won Sundance, and has Natalie Portman and some dude from scrubs in it. But it looks really weird and interesting. I am mad excited...

I saw Dawn of the Dead today too, because I am a fan of the original. I wasnt expecting much and I figured they fucking butchered the original, which they did, but I also feel I didnt waste my $7.50 on the ticket. It was somewhat entertaining, but also very cheesy.. watch it on dvd or tv or something.

I'm coming home in exactly 7 days for kelly's prom. It is going to be mad fun. I am a little stressed out because I am still working on the after party bungalow. It is just a matter of getting ahold of the guy dude people persons. I mean for my prom we got them the day before, so it is no biggy. I am sooooooooooooo excited though

blahh.. thats enough for now.. poopy

I suck

2004-03-24T18:03:58Z

Ya so I am supposed to be writing my two lab reports that are due in a few hours. But instead of doing work I am looking at admissions and all of this junk for other schools so I can get the fuck out of here... because

today I realized just how bad I suck here. Ok well my cable is out because my roomates account is fucked up and he cant pay the bill for a couple days. Not his fault, no big deal. But I mean, I HAVE to watch the new South Park thats on tonight.. So I am thinking, no big deal I'll just call up one of my friends here to watch over their house.. Ya and then I realized I dont have one fucking friend I could call up to watch south park with. NOT ONE. I suck so bad. Out of the few people I know, I dont think I could ask any of them to watch south park over their place. Thats how much people suck here... What a horrible horrible day.

Oh that was sweet, the computer I am on fucking sucks. The monitor keeps on cutting out and it takes about 3-5 minutes for it to do it's little color test before it wants to start working again.. really makes me want to fucking get started on my lab reports.. so you think I am in a computer lab and I could easily get another computer... NOPE. There is a 30 minute line to get a comp.. so I am fucking stuck

kill me

Werrrrrrrrrrrrrrrd

2004-03-18T06:00:48Z

Hmmmm, so I see that Ronald Senet has used my pic as his Icon!... Then I got to post a comment and it says that I cant because I am not listed on his "Friends" list.. I must say I am utterly dissapointed

Banana 5

2004-03-14T06:24:46Z

Last night I ate a bunch of Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds... then I ate a bunch of Dance Drops... and then I bombed some Georgia Home Boy.. it was CRAZY... I tried putting on my sweatshirt and then I got lost in it for 10 minutes... when I finally found my way out my head decided to just explode and made a huge fucking mess... it took me another 10 minutes to pick up all the pieces and try to put it back together.. I think I lost a couple pieces of my brain in the process because I have a massive headache today and a lot of my critical thinking processes are just not functioning properly... hopefully it grows back or something..

PEace to your mama's crease spoon man

djschusta @ 2004-03-05T10:43:00

2004-03-05T18:10:57Z

So I had an incredible week in Colorado with Dave, my mom, bro and cousin melissa. 7 days of insane skiing at 6 different mountains

Day 1: went to breckenridge and skiing was mehh
Day 2: Skied Copper Mountain and found some decent stuff. Dave and I tried to get a snowcat ride to this backcountry peak but we just missed the last fucking ride.. assholes
Day 3: Skied Vail and it was absolutely huge! I have never seen anything so fucking big. Of course Dave and I found one good trail and skied that one all day but never went the same way twice. Then we went to Bubba Gumps Shrimp Factory, the best Mahi Mahi piled on top of mashed patatos and loaded with shrimp EVA! Luckily this time dave and I didnt have to free mahi mahi all over the place
Day 4: Skied Keystone... I wasnt impressed. Blahh
Day 5: Skied A-Basin in the AM. They got about 6 inches of snow towards the top of the mountain. Awesome mountain! But then Dave and I skied down the backside of the mountain and got stuck towards the bottom. We had to make a traverse across the mountain and it was an hour "hike" in snow that got as deep as our heads. I say "hike" because half of it the snow was so deep we had to crawl in order not to sink in too deep. Fucking horrible, I have never done something so hard in my life. Then we went to ski Breckenridge in the afternoon. They had some new snow too. I guess in the summer the locals make these hidden rails in the backcountry out of trees that not many people are supposed to know about. Well I found one and I made dave do it. It was neato. Then Dave tried hiking like 20 feet up to this cliff we knew about from last year. He fell through the snow into a stream and was stuck there for like 5 minutes. I was laughing sooo hard but dave didnt think it was funny at all and got PISSED!
Day 6: Drove 2 hours to steamboat. It was fucking insane! They got 18 inches of snow the day before and about 8 more inches over the night I'd say. So we just had an insane amount of powder we didnt know what to do with. So much fun! Except Dave and I were completely dead after 6 straight days of skiing but we did it. I was skiing behind Dave through some trees and there was this hole in the snow. I tried to jump over it but I fell backwards into it... it just happened to be a hole into a stream and my ass dipped down into it and my skis were straight up into the air. Snow was falling down over my head and I couldnt breath, and I was definitely stuck bad and in a fucking horrible position. Then I heard a ridiculous amount of people laughing at me soooo hard.. When the snow stopped falling over my face and I could breath again, I realized I was right under a chairlift and everyone was making fun of me!! It was horrible. Thats what I got for laughing at dave the day before...
Day 7: Back to breckenridge. I made Dave do that hidden rail again and he fell and broke his pole after we had been talking all week about how sweet his bent fucked up poles were... RIP Pole... We were so tired we couldnt even turn so we just gave up after about 2 hours to save us from the agony... Then we went down to Denver to spend our last night before flying out. Dave listened to bright eyes and I tried slitting my wrist, but dave got pissed so I let him be. There is a South Park episode about this mexican place called Casa Bonita in Denver.. so of course I looked it up to see if it was real, and then I made us go there for dinner.. What a fucking good idea.. It was like a taco bell luxory chuck e. cheese! Mexican food galore. Cliff Diving in the restaraunt! Gun fights! Caves! Mariachi band and my mom getting drunk and taking pics of their asses! Then a gift shop where dave stole and two cops randomly come in after to flirt with the clerk!! Pure craziness! FUCKING AWESOME.

So now I am back in school and I realize how much I hate it here. I cant wait to get out of this fucking place and graduate. I hate most of the people here and it just sucks... Please kill me... But I will be home in about a week and a half for spring break to see kelly because I miss her. I also get to go down and stay with the burg and cause some trouble in his bubble. It will be saweeeeet!

Casa Bonita

Dave getting funky

My sweet goggle tan

Werd to your motha!

2004-02-21T19:33:27Z

I had an absolutely amazing week with Kelly! It was definitely the best week ever to come back from the few classes I actually went to and have kel there waiting for me... Well she flew out on valentines day and that was def neat. I wanted to do something when I picked her up that would be embarrassing for me because who wouldnt enjoy somethine like that, so I bought a bunch of balloons and brought them to the airport.. Ya you would think other people would have flowers and balloons since it was v-day, but nope I was the only asshole in the whole airport with anything like that and everyone was giving me looks and laughing at me. So I took a little v-day cliche and made it really cool haha.. Then I got kelly a swear bear that says "Pussies are pink, balls are blue. I cant BEAR to be without you. I wanna fuck you all the time. Wont you be my valentine?" when you squeeze it, and then I took her out to dinner. Someone left a "Available Men of Color" calender in her work and she gave it to me. It's being hung up in my room of course because I am always looking for availble men of color, so good thing they thought to make a beautiful calender of it! Then she saved up a ton of dollars from working and made me eat so well for the week. I couldnt have asked for anything more, it was the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. We got soooo much Denny's breakfest! We did a huge grocery shopping and we made the best dinners EVER.

I could go on forever about the whole week, but some of the funnest things was when kelly and I got chased around by raging mad down syndrome man when we visited NAU. Don't ever ask some random guy an intricate question who is filling ketchup, though he might appear to be a functioning member of society, he is nothing but raging mad down syndrome man... I got kelly rediculously drunk on thursday night and took her to a bar. I drank a whole bottle of my new fav alcohol called Rumple Minze (it just tastes like drinking scope or somethign else minty, but it is good because it is 100 proof and you dont taste the alcohol at all.. Just minty freshness) And anyways, kelly got rediculously drunk and said a bunch of funny stuff to my roomates... Then when we got to my condo she couldnt even move and as I carried her inside she dove for my flower pot and just continued to puke inside of it.. hahaha

Well I could type forever about it, but all that matters is that I had an absolutely amazing weekend with my kels and I love her so much. It was definitely a sad and horrible thing to bring her to the airport this morning, but I have so much to look foward to that there is no need to be sad: In just 4 days I fly out to colorado to meet up with Dave V himself, My bro, my mom, and my cousin melissa to spend a mad phat crazy week in Smallorado skiing hardcore!!!! Then in just 24 days I am coming back home for half of spring break and I will get to see kel. I want to spend a day or two down in Bean-town with Burg as well because I didnt get to hit up his school as much as I wanted to over winter break. So I am really looking foward to that too....

Anyways, it's back to actually going to school and being a good student for me... For just monday!!!!!!!! then smallorado!!

What's red, bubbling and scratching on glass??

2004-02-14T00:11:03Z

So my school is really starting to piss me off. The whole campus is lined with tents with fucking assholes yelling at me preaching to me what to believe. Whether it be religion, some new-age hippy ass philosophy, politics, or that I need to buy this new product. Well today I was walking and I saw a group of girls either in like the 8th or 9th grade and they were carrying these ASU plastic bags... I didnt think anything about it at first, and I am surprised I even noticed, but as I walked down the campus about 1000 feet there were a bunch of people handing out those bags and screaming "FREE CONDOMS AND FREE LUBE!" It really fucking made me want to throw up all over them. Freed comdoms, ya whatever, but some old scary lady screaming at me to take free lube and just realizing that she handed out to the little 8th grade girls just made me want to die. I mean, I am not against handing out that shit and stuff, but what the fuck.. when I am walking to class I dont want to fucking have to deal with that. I dont want some fucking hippy yelling at me telling me I need to practice this new fucking Mid-Eastern quazi-religion. The ONLY tents set up that dont yell at people and preach to people is the "Republican Student Union" and "Jewish Student Union" Hmmm go figure, the only two groups that dont want to preach to people because they dont want fucking morons joining them. That's proof right there.

So speaking of my education being disrupted, I've noticed that whenever I go to my lectures I always pick the seat next to the two piece of shit sluts who have to talk to each other the whole class. It's really starting to get to me, I think I am going to snap and pack my backpack full of fertilizer and diesel fuel only to light myself on fire if they dont shut the fuck up....

Oh a happier note, Kelly will be out here tomorrow. I am sooooo mad ph@ excited. I've spent a good 3 hours cleaning, and there is soooo much more to do! Ohhhhh man I cant wait!!

well.. more to write about later... yep ok

Peace to your crease,
B-Dawg

P.S. - A baby in a microwave

fdgsdfhsdfh

2004-02-08T16:03:12Z

Ughhhhhhhh girls are so fucking difficult!! That's all I have to say...

But at least Dave's little sister, Hannah, did something pretty fucking funny.. She broke up with her boyfriend at some little kid party and made him cry, and then Hannah and her friends made fun of him for crying.. ahahahahha.. I just thought it was funny because I know that girls love to kick guys when they're down, and Hannah is Dave's little sis, which is just silly

Well at least kelly is coming out to visit in a week... even though she too started laughing at me and making fun of me. Thanks hun, I love you....

Then my Smallorado phickety ph@ ski trip with dave is the week after.. which will be the bee's knees and the cat's meow!!

yep. great, awesome

fuck off

djschusta @ 2004-02-04T20:21:00

2004-02-05T03:43:47Z

FUCKING JESUS CHRIST ALMIGHTY PISS ASS ANAL LICKING DICK SLURPING RIMJOB SUCKLING WENNIE CRAZED POTATO SUCKING SPLURGE PIE DICKLESS MOTHER HUMPING GREAT GATSBY HURLING MAN-O-WAR RAPIST BUCKET SPLOOGING CHRISTMAS TREE CLIMBING BLUMPKIN ASSED HOT DOG SNIFFING THREE EYE TOAD CRAZED BITCH ASS MOTHER FUCKING SHIT

Thats how I feel right now... Ya, fucking sweet huh? Note the sarcasm

but on the plus side... I will tell you my incredibly kick ass story about my mad dope ass lab I had today that definitely made my noggin' super duper smiley

So today in my general bio lab we got to play with DNA and do very simple DNA fingerprinting.. So basically we got to use enzymes to split up this very simple genetic material from bacteria called plastids and use electrolysis to map it... so ya that was cool I guess.. and even though it might sound lame to some of you other science folks, eat a dick because before this I did the most boring fucking waste of time bullshit.. so let me feel cool for a second

but so the really cool part... my lab TA is really cool and funny.. however today he was being really weird.. for example.. some girl was asking him a question and he just stared up into space paused then said "Woah man I just had this crazy vibe there, don't ruin it for me! YOU JUST RUINED IT"... I was laughing but refused to believe he was messed up because he is really smart and stuff and was still functioning fine... ... so then he was drawing a plus sign on the bored and he was taking forever to do it and made it really big, then he just stared at it for 30 seconds and finally said "woah man, that is totally FREAKING me out!"... fucking awesome... then he was relating some type of genetic material to acrillo.. pauses... then says "You know Acrillo, sort of like what crack heads use to smoke their crack. You see you put it in your crack pipe and it keeps the crack in place when it melts"... HAHAHAHHAA... then to top it off, someone's cell phone rings and they had this kinda cool ring, and he says "Woah man, that was like totally spacey! can you make it do it again?"

haha so happy I got the awesome TA.. sure did make my day

anyways

I dont know

shutup

I dont know what else to say so I guess it is back to feeling like piss ass shiznit shabizzle

yep

And some funyons maaaaaan!!

2004-02-02T02:19:51Z

Well two years ago from today is when I officially started my pot-headism on Super BOWL... So I want to list my most glorious moments of being a pothead

-My picture getting posted all over the internet with me in my stolen chuck e. cheese head smoking out of a hookah
-Having to buy almost an 1/8th a day when we had our first hookah
-On prom night burg and I smoked all the joints, and then like 2 hours later when we were really craving one Burg randomly found a joint in his cig box and we have no fucking idea how it got there. it WAS magic
-Clam baking the woods
-Blowing like 30 hits into a trashbag and putting it over the dog's head... then putting it over our own heads
-Making our own homemade gasmask bong and getting totally wrecked
-Cops searched my car but they couldnt find the bag of weed hidden under my seat because my car was too messy, and they were fucking pissed because they knew it was in there
-This nug is sooooooooo suck
-Getting so high that we all had altitude sickness
-Getting the HUGE strips of Filet Mingon at my work and then eating rediculous amount of expensive steak after smoking
-Smoking with the crazy 50 year old dudes when we were camping
-Rolling so many joints that we used to find random ones hidden through out the house because we lost track of some. Nevermind just finding like a little bud here and there, we actually found whole joints we somehow forgot about and lost, quite often too

So many good times.. If you remember any others I forgot, please reply with them. There were so many crazy things we did I forget them all

Peace to your crease yo
WERD

fcvsdfsdgsfgjhdfjgdfj

2004-01-30T03:01:29Z

Ahhh, nothing really cool to talk about... Let me see... I was so happy for school to start, but now that it has I realize I was a fucking idiot. Spring Semester always sucks. This semester I have to actually try, it fucking sucks. And then I get to hear about how much insanely harder my classes are going to be next year... awesome... But spring semester is when all the freaks come out, I swear. You have the Albino Limp Man. No more needs to be said, he just limps all over campus and he is sooooo Albino.. Then on the other end of the spectrum is the Ghetto Thugged Out Tard-Basket. Ya he gave me a "Holla" today and said some ghetto ass thing to me and pointed at me... then I realized he was a real life down syndrom thug. I actually felt pretty cool, who gets a shout out from a thugged tard pirate?? Only me!!... Then there's all the religous fucks telling me that I need to find jesus. My school is so goddam crazy! One day I am just going to flip out and start shooting down the whole campus, just you watch...

So anyways, there is this girl. She is absolutely amazing, only she doesnt realize it. She makes me feel absolutely amazing everytime I get to hear her voice. The best part of my day is when I am lucky enough to talk to her. She doesnt realize how good she is to me. Kelly I love you, and hang in there baby. Everything is gonna be ok..... ... only 2 weeks hun

djschusta @ 2004-01-28T20:47:00

2004-01-29T03:46:51Z

She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly

yeppp

2004-01-27T11:31:46Z

Kelly and I have been having a rough few days, so I just wanted to let her know how much I love her to make her feel a little better: I've never been this happy in my whole life. I never thought I would care for someone as much as I care for you. You do so much for me and you care so much about me that you have been turning me into a completely better person. You dont think so, but you've done so much for me and have made me feel so loved. I hope you know I would do absolutely anything in the whole entire world for you. I wake up everyday just to talk to you and try to make you smile, or feel better about yourself. You are all I ever talk about out here and I dont ever stop thinking about you.

Everything is going to be ok my love.

I love you always and forever

To everyone else, peace to your creases

blahhhhhh

2004-01-26T03:11:17Z

Last night I had a crazy time. I partied old school style and ate a bunch of chemicals. Since it has been a while, I acted as if it was the first time I have ever done that bad stuff, you know how you make like a complete fool out of yourself and say stupid shit and light cigarrettes backwards. But it was cool because even though I had no control over what I did, I still noticed I was being a complete moron and I could laugh at myself... Like for instance, I went to a really ghetto convenient store at 3 in the morning. And because it is in the ghettos, they lock the doors and get you your shit through like this bank teller type contraption. And I guess I asked the guy what kind of gum they had and he flipped out on me and called me a fucking piece of shit druggy and that he was going to fucking kill me.. So I replied "Ok nevermind, I'll take wintergreen". You had to be there, it was quite the scene... Then I met my friend Ryan's girlfriend person or whatever status they might have, and she was a really cool chica. It made me incredibly happy to meet someone else so cool here because it's been a while. Anyhow, her name is Jodi and hopefully we'll party with her a lot because it's nice to know that there are actually other cool people here...

I miss Kelly Ann bunches

peace out homeslicii, werd to your motherz

dsfsdf

2004-01-24T06:04:05Z

I am really fucking annoyed right now.. but instead of bitching about why I am so pissed, I'll tell you a wicked cool story about my awesome luck for today!

So I gots my bike for x-mas and I decided to ride to this cool place like 4 miles north of my house... So I had fun in the trails and then I got really lost and came out at the totally wrong place and was about 7 miles north of my house.. so I start to ride back home, and what happens? My fucking tire pops! Not really that big of a deal, except I decided not to bring any flat fixing stuff, my cell phone, or any money because it was just a short little ride... Now in any normal place in Phoenix I could find a pay phone no problem.. But fucking no!! I am in the midding of fucking nowhere so I had to walk my bike 3 miles through some ghetto to a hotel.. Oh yes, people were yelling at me and trying to hit me with their cars. Fucking sweet! So I get to the payphone and no one wanted to pick up a collect call to help me out. Sweet thanks guys!! So I got a cab and the guy just bitched at me the whole time for trying to bring a bike.. Lovely

Shutup

Babies and Crack

2004-01-23T03:50:21Z

Ya so some bitch today was complaining about how it is horrible to put kids under 12 in competitive sports. Ya, one of those cunts. So then I thought about it. All my friends and everyone who I think is really cool played competitive sports when they were under 12 but quit after that. Then I thought about all the kids who played competitive sports seriously when they are older than 12, and I realized that 90% of them are fucking losers. So I would like to argue that it is a horrible thing to do to let your kids who are older than 12 play competitive sports. You are just going to turn into an ass raping piece of shit asshole.

Ok so there is this really gay new fad thing out that kinda goes hand in hand with glowstick fags. It's like this 3 foot rope and there is a ball at the end that usually glows in the dark, and you hold two of them and swing them around like a little bitch. Ya well usually this incredibly gay task is performed at a really gay club.. However today some kid thought it would be cool to walk around school, class to class doing this. Ya, 40,000 students attend my school about. There are a fucking lot of people walking to their classes. I really just wanted to know what made this kid think this was an appropriate time to swing around balls on ropes. But the thing that really astonishes me, is why the fuck someone didnt beat the shit out of this kid. I have never seen something so rude and obsurd since Dave Van Ham....

Ya so Phantom Planet is playing a free show at my school and I am really excited. Well actually, I couldn't care less for the music really, but the drummer is so fucking cool. In fact, he is Cool Ethan, from the movie Slackers, which was fucking awesome. Same with Rushmore... "These are OR scrubs" "Oh, Are they?" ahahahaha. I wonder if he'll be mad when I make him reciet my favorite lines from the movies he's in. I cant fucking wait.

Lets see, what else is interesting... Paul Oakenfold this weekend. It's gonna be cool because I gots some really dope ass izzle banizzle Molly, and some phly digity kat tranq, and maybe picking up some mad ph@ whip cream gas if you know what I'm sayin yo. I cant wait.. I got my mountain bike and I almost died sooo many times today. Not cool to ride on the streets of phoenix to get to trails. I swear, the fucking cars try to hit me on purpose because they think it is funny.

22 more days until kelly visits me!

blahhh

2004-01-20T20:32:35Z

I was really excited to start school today... but then once I went to my first class I finally realized how bad it sucked and blahhh. I hate everyone and I hate being around so many people. My schedule fucking sucks. I hate it when I have classes all in a row because my campus is huge and it is impossible to get to some classes on time. Not only that, but one of my classes right in the middle is in this new building that they felt putting like 1 mile North of the campus... so life just really fucking sucks right now

I hate everyone

leave me alone

Ughhhhhh

2004-01-15T05:20:22Z

Ahhhh.. I just finally flew in. My first flight was delayed and I thought I was going to be stuck in washington dc... but luckily I made my connection in time. The flight was rough. I am really sick. My nose did not stop running to whole time and it was like a fucking faucet. Then I missed kelly.. my mom.. and all my friends I left behind. It wasnt fun. Thank god I actually started reading an amazing book (a confederacy of dunces) thanks to dave.

James picked me up from the airport and he was being really cool. So I am excited. It is definitely a good thing to get along well with your roomate. I start school on monday which will be exciting, but this semester is going to be incredibly hard. I am missing a whole week of school to go skiing and the week before that kelly will be here, so I am going to really have to work hard this semester to make up for that. That's not a bad thing though, I am incredibly excited.. this semester is going to rule!

It's going to be really hard going from seeing kelly everyday to not seeing her at all. I need to keep myself busy so I am happy, I am sure she doesnt want me upset. SO I cant wait for my bike to get shipped out here and for school to start.

alright.. time to sleep so I can party tomorrow
peace out homeslices

G-money werrrrrrrrd

2004-01-13T04:12:11Z

Today was rediculous. I have been all excited that I never came down with this flu everyone has been complaining about, and of course in my last couple days home I get it. So to top that off, today a pipe bursted for the pressurized hot water system of my house's heat furnace. It took my mom forever to find a plumber who would fix it today and he still didnt come until 9 tonight. So that really sucked.

Anyways, I leave wednesday so if you want to stop by on tuesday (tomorrow) that would be neat. Also if anyone wants to go out to breakfest or lunch or something on wednesday, let me know.. My plane leaves at like 2:something I think.

Kelly - It has been an amazing month and I love you sooooo much. I couldnt be any happier with how well everything went. I am going to miss you so much!!...

Since I am sad about leaving I'll think about all the things I get to look foward to: I get to see Kelly in just a month when she comes out to visit me for a week starting on valentines day!!!! The week after that I am going to breckenridge colorado for a week to ski with dave and my fam! I got a mountain bike on ebay for x-mas and I just found out my condo in AZ is just a 2 mile ride away in each direction from 2 of the best parks in AZ for singletrack. David Cross has a stand up show at the end of the month I really want to try and make it to. I guess the lead singer of Jane's Addiction is also a DJ and he is spinning later in the month. And school starts next monday which is always fun when it just starts... then sucks really bad...

Well peace out L-town... see you for a brief time for kelly's prom, and then for a couple months in the summa yo... Werrrrrrd

A Tribute to the Biggest Asshole in the World

2003-12-15T23:09:20Z

This is my tribute to the biggest asshole in the whole entire world: Dave Thomas Van Ham VIII

And this is why

Dave flirts with 10 year old boys

Dave gets a giant erection when he sees the backside of a horse or cow (sometimes it lasts for days)

Dave is not unlike a monkey because I always find him shitting into his hands and throwing his feces at innocent bystanders... And then he is infatuated with smelling his fingers for hours

When Dave isnt flirting with 10 year old boys, he is picking up 8 year old girls at the movie theater

Dave always tries to stick his fingers up his friend's asses after he discovered the pleasures of shitting into his own hands

Dave is addicted to drinking bleach

I always find Dave hanging out at the local kindergarten

Hey Dave, fuck you